Each Class is a New Relationship

So, I just finished my first week of the year and it was WONDERFUL.  The kids were so sweet, so well-behaved.  I’m marveling at them.  I said to one of my mentors (who watched me stuggle last year and helped me navigate through the pitfalls of a rough and tumble class), “It wasn’t me, it was THEM!”  But I’m also wondering if maybe it IS me.  At least a little?  I read the blog entries from last year and the year before that.  I was NOT a happy camper at the end of the first week.  I loved the kids, that is true, but I felt so exhausted, so overwhelmed.  I’m tired today, but NOT exhausted.  It’s a really good thing.  I guess it’s true, experience helps, huh? 

Dear Ms. Maestra…

I had a GREAT summer, how about you?  I could not wate to be in your class.  My favort sport is riding bike what is your favort sport?  My hobbies are riding bike, runing, walking, coloring, drawing, playing with my sister, brother, mom, step dad.  I LOVE going to the libary with my step dad.  My step dad and I love to read and go on comuter sometimes.  We watch movies, do crafts, games, activities and much more.  I look forward to being in your class.  Some people say your mean but your nice.  Thank you for being my 5th grade teacher.

Love,

Darla

Seriously, how could a person NOT fall in love???

First Day of School OR Small Moments of Serendipity

I wish I could say that last part very VERY quietly.  I’m superstitious and I don’t want to “jinx” anything, but OMG MY KIDS WERE PERFECT TODAY!!!  How is it possible to fall in love with another group of kids and so quickly?  This day just FLEW by!

I can’t write much, since they all wrote letters to me and I have to answer them, but I did want to tell one thing that was SO different from last year.  It’s called “Name Juggling” and I learned it from a FABULOUS teacher friend of mine who works with kids with disabilities.  Basically, you stand in a circle and throw a beanie baby (or bean bag) to the kids.  Each person throws it to one other person until everyone has had it and then the last person throws it to the first and you start over.  After you’ve established the pattern, you add more beanie babies and continue working through the pattern.  It is a great team-building activity and it also is great if there are newcomers to the class.

Last year, I tried to do this with my class and we could NOT even get through the first pattern.  One girl just could NOT keep it together (she was eventually moved out of my class, there were SO many issues).  I was really nervous about doing it with this class, but they handled it beautifully.  There were times when they got a bit squirrely, but I pulled them back immediately and reminded them that we are a team and they have to focus.  (There are specific rules about TOSSING [not throwing] it underhand and WATCHING to make SURE your partner is paying attention.)  At one point, we had to stop because a boy lobbed it and a girl missed it.  He said, “She wasn’t paying attention!”  I said, well, what could you do to help solve that problem.  And he answered, “Make sure there is eye contact or say her name louder?”  And then another girl said, “Well, yes, except that when we’re adding beanies, everyone gets louder.”  There was LOTS of great processing and discussion and PROBLEM SOLVING. 

I almost started to cry.  It was such a beautiful moment!!!  They were so awesome.  They made me feel like a teacher!  (Oh, and they got up to FOUR beanies…that’s as many as my class last year got to at the END of the year…)

We’ll see how it goes tomorrow.  Not all of my students entered today and I’m getting another student from one of my colleagues tomorrow.  He’s obviously a Spanish speaker and is struggling in her class.  She SWORE he’s NOT a discipline problem.  I pray he’s not!!!  Otherwise, I guess it was nice while it lasted.  I’ll take the happiness I’m given!

Back to the Classroom…Sort Of

IT IS SO GOOD NOT TO BE A FIRST YEAR TEACHER!!!!!!!!!!! 

Last year, about this time, I had just been hired by my district and I was FREAKING OUT.  There were so many unknowns.  This year, I am so happy and excited to be going back.  (Well, ok, full disclosure–I am still soaking up every bit of joy out of the summer–not ready to go back JUST yet.)  But I am NOT terrified!  And I feel (sorta) like I know what I’m doing.  At the VERY least, I’m not TOTALLY clueless this year. 

The kids and I went in yesterday to put the room back together.  Our crackerjack custodial team painted my room and put what looks like five coats of wax on the floor.  It looks FABULOUS!!!  The furniture, however, did not.  Last year, it took me DAYS to figure out how to arrange the room.  This year: 90 minutes.  YESSSSSSSSSS!!!

And it was so cool–as I was walking into the school, one of the kids I will have saw me and went nuts saying hi.  Her mother was with her and wanted to know who I was.  The little girl was all excited, “Mami!  This is my teacher!!!”  Rock stars got nuthin’ on me, babies.  I love these kids so much!!!

Also, the postcards I gave out at the end of the school year are starting to trickle in.  My kids are writing me about what they are reading this summer.  (And the heavens sing, “AHHHHHHH!”)

Here are a few photos of before and after of the classroom.  This is the before…

And this is the after…

Posters to follow next week!  Stay tuned!

Moving On

Thursday was our last day.  On Wednesday, we had our moving up ceremony.  It was nice, but I was surprised because I wasn’t emotional about the kids leaving.  It’s surprising to me because I’ve loved them so much.  I guess I figure, we’ve had a good year, but it’s time for them to go.  We’re all ready.

I wondered who would show up for class on Thursday since they had all “moved up” the day before.  I was surprised when about three quarters of the kids showed up.  One of them was Sparky, the kid who was suspended for throwing a chair across the room.  Because he’d been suspended, he was not allowed to participate in the moving up ceremony.  We all felt really bad about this.  He’s a great kid, just VERY angry.  Until he gets that under control…I dunno what’s going to happen to him.

In any case, Sparky showed up with the other kids.  They were happy to be there, to help clean the classroom and to say goodbye.  It was a pretty laid-back day.  Sparky handed me a card and said, “Don’t open it here.  Open it at home.”  So I did.  I’m glad he warned me.  Here’s what he said:

Dear Ms. Maestra,  Your the only teacher who actually cared.  I’ll miss you.  I know I’ll look back and thank you for not giving up on me.  I’ll never forget you Ms. Maestra.  Love, Sparky.

I couldn’t stop crying.  He made my life hell many times this year.  I sure hope this year did him some good.  I really really do.

New Instincts

Have I mentioned that I love my job?  I do.  For so many reasons.  One is that this job really pushes my growing edges.  I have learned and changed so much this year.  Sometimes, though, change can be uncomfortable.  This came home to me the other night when something strange happened.

I took my son to a store to get a birthday card for his sister.  The store is a few miles from our house, on a very busy road.  On the way, I caught site of what I thought was a woman struggling to push a shopping cart along the road.  When we got closer, I realized it wasn’t a woman, but a girl.  I thought this was odd, but that’s about it.  Onward we went.

When we left the store, about half an hour later, it was getting dark.  We drove back toward home and I noticed the shopping cart a little way down the road, abandoned.  A little way further, I spied the girl again, still walking.  I passed her and a red flag went up.  HEY!  IT’S DARK AND SHE’S YOUNG!  THIS ISN’T RIGHT!!!  I said to my son, we’re turning around to get her.  “Oh geez,” he said, while slumping way down in his seat.

I turned around and went back, hoping she wouldn’t freak out/be crazy/be armed.  I pulled up to her and noticed she was carrying a stuffed toy and crying.  I said, Would you like a ride?  She said nothing, just got in the car.  We drove a bit and I started trying to chit chat.  So…are you ok?  What happened?  “Oh,” she said, “My dad left me at the store by accident.”

Right.  And I’m the Queen Mother.

Ah.  So…how old are you?  “13.”  (I was shocked.  She looked a LOT younger.)  Wow.  I have a daughter that age.  What’s your name?  “Fabulousa.”  Nice name.  Where do you go to school?  “Main School #13.”  Really?  Do you know Ms. So-and-so there?  “Yes, I know her.”

This continued in a light and fairly easy manner.  I asked her where she wanted to go and she told me a local park.  She said there was a family birthday party there.  So, that’s where we went.  When we got there, the place was deserted.  I let her go, even though I didn’t want to.  I didn’t know what to do.  I drove straight home and called Ms. So-and-so, who is my friend and one of the social workers at the school.  I told her the story and before I was even finished, she said, “OH MY GOSH.  Is her name Fabulosa???”  I said yes and she said, “Oh!  She ran away from school today.  She’s got mental health issues and stopped taking her meds.  Said she was going to go to the city to get a bus ticket!!!  I’m going to go look for her!”

Thankfully, she found her.  I hope she’ll be ok, but based on what she told me about this poor kid’s life, I dunno.

It’s just so weird.  On the one hand, I am grateful for my new job because before it, this little girl wouldn’t have even registered on my radar.  And I am grateful *I* am the one who picked her up and not some person with nefarious intentions.  But, after seeing this underbelly, I am beginning to wonder, is ignorance bliss?

Current Reads June 2009

I finished The Elegance of the Hedgehog and all I can say is READ THIS BOOK.  It is so so so so so good.  I LOVED the characters and the pearls she gave me!

Today I was at a meeting with several teachers.  I was just listening to the conversation when two of the teachers began discussing books.  A third teacher joined in and the other two asked her if she had read such-and-such.  She said, “Well, no.  I’m not a reader.”  WTF???  It’s one thing to not be a reader (like most Americans), but it’s another thing to be a TEACHER who is not a reader.  And it’s another thing COMPLETELY to actually ADMIT it.  That’s like saying, “Well, I’m a brain surgeon but I’m not a big fan of using a scalpel.”  Holy ignoramus, Batman.  Aren’t we supposed to ENCOURAGE our students TO READ?  I guess it IS do as I SAY, huh???  Sheesh.

Well, a big fat pfffffffffffffbt to that teacher.  I AM a reader, so there.  (How can we NOT be?  So many books!  So little time!!!)  Here are my latest reads and what I think.

The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner’s Semester at America’s Holiest University by Kevin Roose.  When I was in college, one of my friends had taped a five foot message to her window so the whole campus could see it, “Jerry Falwell is the anti-Christ.”  I was slightly curious, but tended to shy away from touchy conversations, so I never asked anything.  (How things have changed.)  This book is about a Quaker college kid from Brown who helps his professor research The Year of Living Biblically (haven’t read this one yet).  He knew his college encouraged students to spend a semester abroad, but his research leads him to think could go “abroad” at another place which is completely foreign to him: Liberty University.  He does and what follows is a really interesting and thought-provoking book.  I had to keep reminding myself that this guy was just a sophomore when he did this and very young when he wrote it.  I highly recommend it!

The Radioactive Boy Scout by Ken Sliverstein.  This is on my recommended summer reading list for my students.  It’s a true story about a kid who tries to build a nuclear breeder reactor in his backyard.  I haven’t finished it yet, but what I’ve read so far is intriguing and slightly hair-raising!

Feathers by Jacqueline Woodson.  This is the required summer reading for my fifth graders for their sixth grade class.  (I hate that schools still give one book that everyone HAS to read–talk about a sure-fire way to kill the joy of reading: FORCE someone to read something!!!)  However, I love Woodson.  Her book, Locomotion is brilliant.  My students loved that one.  I like this book too, about an African-American family living on “the wrong side of the tracks” in the 1970s.  The girl (Frannie) is a sweet character and I like her brother too (Sean, who is deaf).  They have their own problems to deal with and then a new boy (a white kid) moves into the neighborhood and Frannie’s class.  His classmates start calling him “Jesus Boy.”  He’s different.  I like books about “different.”  JB won’t fight the other kids and he knows sign language.  This book is about being different and acceptance.  It’s also an interesting spin on faith.  I like that.  I’m a bit dubious about it for a summer reading book for fifth-to-sixth graders.  It’s pretty deep.  Oh, and there’s also some great bits about Dickinson’s poem “Hope is a thing with feathers…”  It’s a rich book, that’s for sure.

Eucalyptus  by Murray Bail.  This book was the latest pick for our book group.  It’s gotten good reviews and is supposed to be some wonderful fairy tale story, but so far, all I can say is, YAWN.  I mean, how much can you actually talk about eucalyptus trees???  I read two pages a night and fall asleep.  I do NOT recommend it so far.  I’ll let you know if that changes.  I usually give a book 100 pages.  So far I’m on 55.  We’ll see.

Anna Karenina and Uncle Tom’s Cabin  by Tolstoy and Stowe, respectively.  I know, I know…but I got a kindle and a lot of the “classics” are free downloads.  I’ve read Anna before.  I liked it but I was pretty young.  I want to reread “the perfect novel” again.  I have to admit, this time around, it’s more painful–life experience makes it that way, I think.  I’ve never read Uncle Tom’s Cabin.  We read about it in Social Studies and it made me curious.  Oh my gosh, is IT ever painful!!!  But really really good.

Ok.  So that’s it for this month.  Up for next month:  Solar Storms, Frankenstein (nope, never read that either), The Road  of Lost Innocence  and The Last Olympian.

Repeat after me…

You know that old saying, “Do as I say, not as I do”?  I guess we all HOPE that kids will do that, but you KNOW dang well they WON’T.  And that applies DOUBLE to teachers!  I had to laugh today, when one of the kids cried out, “IT’S NOT FAIR!”  (Doesn’t really matter what they were hollering about, since everything is perceived as “not fair.”)  and several of the other children began chanting, “It’s neither fair nor unfair, it just is.”  This is a mantra of mine, ever since I read “The Graveyard Book” in April (spectacular book, by the way).  I love the fact that the kids repeat it now, when someone pulls the “it’s not fair” card. 

The other one that’s been coming up lately is due to the children and their incredibly lame excuses for, oh, pretty much everything under the sun.  (I was giving the assignment for the summer reading project today.  It involves a cereal box.  One of the girls said, “I can’t do that because I don’t have a cereal box.”)  Inside my head, I scream OH FOR GOD’S SAKE, GIMME A BREAK.  Outside I say, Make an attempt, not an excuse.  Now the kids repeat that one too.

I’m liking this.

The hardest working people in the business

Today I was talking with one of my colleagues.  She was gone yesterday and she had a sub in for her class.  She is a teeny, tiny little thing and she handles her class in an AMAZING way.  She reminds me of a lion-tamer sticking her head in the lion’s mouth every day.  Most of the kids TOWER over her and they are NOT nice.  Yet, she maintains a VERY orderly class.  That much was obvious yesterday when it took THREE teachers to handle her class.

We were talking about how naughty her kids were and about how hard it is to do our jobs.  She said, “I don’t care WHAT other people say about how stressful their jobs are.  Our job is STRESSFUL!!!”  It’s true.  Another one of my colleagues said, “No one works as hard as a classroom teacher.”  Again, so true.  One of the specials teachers was gone yesterday and no one bothered to tell me.  She didn’t show up and didn’t show up and I kept vamping and finally called the office to see if she was coming in.  Nope.  And no sub either.  Wow.  I wish *I* could do that!  (Not really.)

I love what I do.  I work hard, but what I do matters.  I MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

Note to self: No more playing ball with kids

Last week I was playing “Knock-out” with my kids.  It was no easy feat.  They are sweet kids, but they do NOT understand the concept of teamwork and group sports are a mystery to them.  (When we first got the basketball hoops and balls, the kids would CHARGE out to the field, grab the balls and just hold on to them.  It was a classic case of “I’ve got mine.”  They didn’t care if they couldn’t actually PLAY, at least THEY had the ball!)

In any case, they finally got organized enough to actually PLAY (it took no small amount of yelling on my part to get them going in the same direction–it’s like herding cats!) and we were having a nice time.  It was lots of fun.  That is, until two children passed me a ball.  Each.  I was only paying attention to one of them.  The small one.  With the easy throw.  I wasn’t paying attention to the BIG, STRONG child with the ARMS of STEEL. 

When the ball hit me, in the face, right between the eyes, I was surprised.  And in pain.  It was like a Bugs Bunny cartoon.  I saw little birds and stars circling my head.  NOT fun.  It hurt SO MUCH.  I wanted to scream and jump up and down and I couldn’t because that’s how my kids normally act and I wanted to be a good god damn role model.  So not fun.  NOT.

Needless-to-say, I will NOT be playing ball with the kids anymore!!!